My Twitter shenanigans from October.
- A message I just found from a Web ring I applied to ages ago (denying me): “Your foul language is atrocious.”
- Think I’ll send a friend request to a former fuckfriend on FB, just to horrify her. These are the little things that make life flavorful.
- Thinking of changing my Twitter handle to “Hunk Stew.” Throw in some carrots, a dash of this sort of cha cha cha, and voila…
- Sitting in an empty skyscraper listening to doomjazz again. Nobody can party quite like me.
- Caribou, will you be my totem animal? Cool. But don’t fret, li’l coyote friend; you’re on the practice squad.
- O! What a desolate void. Saturday night and here I stare at the keyboard/abyss.
- #oneletteroffmovies Hoard the Duck
- Ladies, does Michael Moore make your ovaries swell? Does he put you in a reproductive condition? He is a Proud Man.
- I’d like to thank @smilinstanlee for the issue of THE INCREDIBLE HULK where Reagan granted the Hulk amnesty for past transgressions.
- Some of my preschooler’s best friends are black. #WhiteGuilt
- Please pause before printing this tweet and consider that doing so is akin to stomping your foot on the fleshy throat of biodiversity.
- We bring kindness to your ham face.
- Starting a new political party: the Oscillating Simpaticos. We have 100 founding principles. We don’t befoul our neighbors’ easements.
- I feel the engines of Nobel-flavored peace at work. I am forecasting rainbows and dew-drenched ospreys singing joyfully.
- Just saw three fat raccoons waddle out of my yard and into my heart.
- Won 6 Nobel Prizes, 10 Hugo Awards, a Stanley Cup, 12 John Hobbs Medals, 4 Prix de Romes & 20 Profiles in Courage Awards before 6 a.m. today.
- Also won 3 Profiles in Cribbage Awards, and finished 10th in the voting for the Heisman, even though votes won’t be tabulated until November.
- Are celebrities and journalists aware enough about our president? Does he get the credit he deserves? Would that be so much to ask?
- Peace in this world is important; it is presented by the people of Nobel…but it scratches me; chafes me; makes my nether-areas unclean.
- Upon staring into the abyss, I was delighted to see Harry Connick Jr. in blackface, staring back at me as a delightful surrogate abyss.
- I don’t want to live in the type of cold, cruel world that would endeavor to upset Harry Connick Jr. He is an altruistic wigger. He is good.
- Perky Jerky is the world’s first performance-enhancing meat snack: http://tinyurl.com/m3yno2 It’s caffeinated.
- Government is the new religion. As such, I remain a bitter, cold atheist. Colder than ever.
- I will lay this fantastic ham upon you.
- Girl-skin rug: http://www.kinkerbelle.com/?p=1703
- #Conspiracy Big Swimming; Big Wrangling; Big Podiatry; Big Modeling; Big Midwifery; Big Numerology; Big Perfume; Big Locksmithing
