I think I’ve mentioned that it’s been a strange year for yours truly.

The strangeness has manifested itself in many good and many bad ways. Happily, this past week, the strangeness has been a very good, very fun thing.

Not all of the strangeness is fit for disclosure in blog-form.

Some of it is, though.

From Texas, the great Daniel Kalder sent signed copies of his excellent books Lost Cosmonaut and Strange Telescopes. He also sent the Polish-language version of Lost Cosmonaut, which looks really cool, although I can’t read a word of it:

D.K. was also kind enough to send several amazing photographs from his personal collection (© Daniel Kalder). Please don’t redistribute in any fashion.

Here’s a few from Kalmykia, the strangest of estranged Russian lands, IMHO.

__________________

Fuck All You Motherfuckers

Another nice bit of mail showed up in the form of this book:

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that Brian Clark, the author, mentions yours truly in the “thank you” section, along with a diverse group of talented folks:

Thanks:

Skiba, Boyd, Emily, Vadge, Trace, Stephanie, Ruth, Iced Borscht and Lisa

Beautiful this strange world of ours, nyet?

Thanks to Daniel and Brian for adding to the past week’s excellence quotient.

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!!! GOD’S BALLS !!!

Tad Doyle

A stroll down memory lane over at When Falls the Coliseum, with excerpts from the wonderful and perfectly fermented bio of Seattle rock band TAD:

Being part of the TAD experience is like waking up in the middle of a train wreck, or like turning over to slap the snooze bar on your radio-alarm only to find you have no arms. Look around you. Nothing but ashes and molten slag: You’re in the hypercenter of something big. Something that thinks, moves, DESTROYS. The TAD experience is rock history.

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  • From THE 8-ARMED ICE-CREAM MAN OF MNEME:

“His digits were shimmering vestiges of a spiral galaxy. Every appendage was filled with delightful flavors, each guaranteed to satisfy…”

“Her clenched, webbed fist made for an excellent proxy.”

  • From THE WELL-HUNG WHITE DWARF:

“I felt as though I was standing on the veranda of a vast cosmos as I unleashed my essence into her love purse.”

“I marveled at the tantalizing array of bills, beaks, scutes, pectorals…and breasts…”

  • From STICKING COEFFICIENTS:

“A sharp distinction between human lovers and alien lovers is essential if we are to bend them to our will, make them work for us, wear them, eat them — without any disquieting tinges of guilt or regret.”

  • From PANSTELLAR PECKERWOOD:

“Her supple lips met mine. Soon, our coupling began beneath a small altocumulus cloud. I knew then that she was the perfect Moon Creature for me.”

  • From FOUR-VECTOR FEATHERWOODS:

“Her ample backdoor provided all the airlock pressure we would need. Soon, sexual congress commenced.”

  • From SEDUCTION IN THE SUBDUCTION ZONES:

“She fondled the large emplacement of basalt rock. When he eventually loosened her from the restrictive iguana harness, she cooed amorously…”

  • From LONGITUDINAL ENGINES:

“The biblical God is usually a sloppy manufacturer. But he outdid himself with Ginny. She was a busty, big-diesel masterpiece whom I loved to read poetry to.”

  • From KEPLERIAN CRANKSHAFT:

“He dipped his hardened magma plug into her rock pool. Together, they could feel the Earth’s crust buckle.”

“Some nights we were two sworn enemies standing waist-deep in gasoline, one with three matches, the other with five. And then…out of nowhere…some force would propel us… into each others’ pinch machine…”

  • From BETA-DECAY KAY:

“Kay radiated magic, poetry and…lust. I enjoyed nuzzling her Pale Blue Dot.

  • From PLUTONIAN PLEASURE SQUAD:

“Her buttocks trembled in a lyrical way…this singular beauty made me pine for the satisfying hues of Sigma Orionis.”

  • From CELESTIAL POLES:

“He pried open her fleshy portal with the throbbing anticipation of a Wolf-Rayet star.”

“Geologically we were in the most active body of the Uranian system. Thus, Rick’s thickening, hardening and elongating served as gripping metaphor.”

  • From LOVE BUDDIES OF URANUS:

“ ‘I always prayed that somebody would stuff my chute,’ said Rick while preparing to leap from the sky cruiser. ‘And thanks to Todd, that prayer has been answered.’

  • From LOVE BUFFET ON MARS:

“Our union, so full of culinary delights, made us feel like carnal gladiators, yes, but also like world-champion gurgitators.”

  • From DOUBLE-CLUSTER DUVETS:

“I felt as though I were a cosmic quilt-maker…the rich tapestry of intricate, interwoven ecstasy nearly left me for dead…”

  • From THE SEXUAL SAFARIS OF SEDNA:

“Reality died screaming when Todd removed the accommodator mask from the tentacled beast.”

  • From FINE DINING ON DEIMOS (co-written with Ray Kroc):

“Todd was a griddle man through and through, so cooking up a thick, rich stew of carnal flavors was no challenge for him. Doing it in zero gravity, however, was the tricky part.”

Sagan Valentine by Ironic Sans

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