Iced Borscht

It’s been awhile since I’ve discussed my favorite home invaders, Alexis, Jorge and Benito.

You may recall that these young men — innocent until proven guilty, of course — recently (and allegedly!) traumatized a 12-year-old Troutdale girl while attempting to burglarize her home.

Oh…

And lest I forget, these Three Stooges were arrested just down the street from my place — 30 minutes after two or three cretins ransacked every room in the house and stole $3,000-plus worth of loot.

Curious! A many layered quilt, this world! Will coincidences — and wonders — ever cease?

These cretins not only traumatized the heroic 12-year-old girl who called 911 on them, but they’ve made it hard for me to explain to my 5-year-old son why our home was completely trashed one night and a bunch of stuff had suddenly disappeared.

I did not tell him that two or three animals broke into the house, helped themselves to beer and soda and began taking anything and everything of value. I never told him, but he knows something strange occurred. He knows that his home, a place that’s supposed to be safe from the garbage of the outside world, was somehow violated. That unsettling feeling will stick with him for awhile.

The Elephant in the Room

There’s an interesting subplot to this story, as one or two of the Three Stooges may be illegal aliens. And if you read some comments on local blogs and news stories about Alexis, Jorge and Benito, you’ll see plenty of rancor coming from the anti-Mexican crowd. Read the comments, please do, but promise me this: don’t shed any tears for Alexis, Jorge and Benito.

Their ALLEGED crimes couldn’t come at a worse possible time. Race-fueled arguments are taking place all over the country due to what’s going on in Arizona.

However, here’s what makes the timing of these three goons’ ALLEGED misdeeds so idiotic: the truth, for those who care to know it, is that Americans are slowly coming to empathize with illegal aliens. Perhaps not in Southern California, perhaps not in Arizona, but there are signs of progress.

Case in point: A great article called “His-Panic“ recently caused quite a stir in the American Conservative, of all places. The piece works hard to destroy common misconceptions about immigrants. Its sub-header reads:

“Talk TV sensationalists and axe-grinding ideologues have fallen for a myth of immigrant lawlessness.”

Author Roy Unz does a nice job with both the story and some crime statistics (which are always easily manipulated, sure, but let’s put down our Cynic Gloves for a moment). Writes Unz, all emphases mine:

“Nearly all of the most heavily Latino (American) cities have low or even extremely low crime rates, and virtually none have rates much above the national average. Eighty percent Latino El Paso has the lowest homicide and robbery rates of any major city in the continental United States. This is not what we would expect to find if Hispanics had crime rates far higher than whites. Individual cities may certainly have anomalously low crime rates for a variety of reasons, but the overall trend of crime rates compared to ethnicity seems unmistakable.”

Intriguing, right? And what makes the ALLEGED acts of Alexis, Jorge and Benito so impossibly dumb is the following passage, which literally hits home. Unz makes a convincing case that cities with giant Latino populations generally have LESS crime than predominantly white cities, like…drum roll…PORTLAND, OREGON.

“…if we restrict our analysis to major cities of half a million people or more and compare the average crime rates for the five most heavily Hispanic cities—Albuquerque, Dallas, Los Angeles, San Antonio, and El Paso—to the those of the five whitest—Oklahoma City, Columbus, Indianapolis, Seattle, and Portland. This time, the more Hispanic cities are the ones with the lower crime rates—10 percent below the white cities in homicide and 15 percent lower in violent crime. A particularly remarkable result is that gigantic Los Angeles—50 percent Hispanic and frequently perceived as a dangerous urban hellhole—has violent crime rates close to those of Portland, Oregon, the whitest major city in the nation at 74 percent.“

So it’s not all hatred, not all doom and gloom. Things may be getting better for race relations. Or so it seems. But the situation is fragile enough that the slightest misstep, even on a local level, can start to unravel the majestic quilt of tolerance.

As always, there’s plenty of blame to go around. But if you wish to channel your self-righteous liberal rage at those who perpetuate racial discord, then please start with three awful human beings named Alexis, Jorge and Benito.

They make atheists like me wish there truly was a hell for them to roast in. If you have a problem with this, then I suggest you join Alexis, Jorge and Benito in the furnace. Tell Satan I said “hi.”